I began to Spin in 2010.
It wasn't until after my second son, Easton that I really needed to work out. I had moved to Miami with my ex-husband in 2007 and I had just miscarried. It was a whirlwind of emotion. Moving, leaving my job, friends, family and my home of ever to go to this new place that was huge and hot and where I didn't know a soul!
I was 13 weeks into my pregnancy just before we were moving when we found out our little person didn't make it. I had gained weight very easily with this one. I think it was nerves about the move and well because, I was pregnant, why not eat... so I did.
No friends, no family. No job and 15 lbs heavier than anticipated. I was in a new place where everyone was "seemingly" perfect. Beach bodies, dark skin, sexy accents; everyone was going somewhere, doing something, buying this, that or going to a bootcamp, a gym, you name it. And me? I was unpacking (a house) a lot of sadness and anxiety and trying to wrap my head around how my life had suddenly changed so fast.
I didn't look like them. Those woman had those bodies that you see on tv. (the boobs!) And suddenly, I felt like I was just in such a wrong place within myself. I was a ghost compared to their luxurious, dark skin. I was a heavy (in my mind I was) Canadian girl in a very unusual l place. I didn't look like I used to or wanted to.
I had to work out.
I had to get into shape. I had to fit in. I had to have that ass and those perfect legs for shorts (because even though I was living in Miami, I wasn't wearing them)
So I found myself at a bootcamp in a park on a Saturday morning with this trainer who I thought was trying to kill me with her burpees and pushups and her thick Spanish accent making me do UNO, DOS, TRES jump squats (to the point where I was dizzy and wanting to never ever ever do that again)
So, I went back.
And I went back again. Gruelling workouts in 90 degree weather. Rain or shine I managed to test my perseverance and my will and my ex husbands bank account. (you guys have no idea how much it costs to work out in Miami..)
I had lost all that chubbiness and was getting tanned and was meeting friends and life was good! I was embracing my place in our little nook of Florida when the unthinkable happened....
I got preganant. (Geezus)
I was JUST getting to enjoy all of this fun and exciting life. I was strong. I was running. I was leading the way in all the classes. I was doing something for me and then this... ugh
(I was scared to be pregnant again so fast..)
Fast forward to the birth of my son Easton.
I am in love. Again. With this little magic bean of blue eyes. New purpose, new life. A breath of fresh air. An addition to our little family who joined my first born, Alex (who is 7yrs old at this time).
Our parents and friends come to meet our new little person. They brought us love and support and gifts and hugs and much needed kisses and what else... food.
I was 35 years old and I weigh 200 lbs. I had never weighed 200lbs before. (big sigh)
I had a C section. I couldn't do the usual things I was able to do before. 6 weeks of nothing! 6 weeks of nurturing this little baby. Ok.. I can do that... (but I weigh 200lbs and feel so yucky and ugly) I can't look at myself. I am wearing Maternity clothes still becuase they are more comfortable. My legs are bigger than I had ever seen! I had some chins (lol) and a glorious set of boobs ( I might add ) but I was so unhappy that it wasn't even fair to myself or my family that I was letting what I thought about myself control my life, again.
I was a happy mama and a sad soul.
I joined a gym. And this is where I fell in love again. Truly. with Spin.
The journey is a long one. I can blog about my obsession with Spin another day and how it got me to where I am now with Pure Cycle.
But what I want to share beyond the actual weight loss aspect of it ( I lost 60lbs Spinning)
A million things happen to us.
Life presents itself beautifully with joys and rewards and blue skies and all is going as planned; then, shit happens and life throws us curves.
(where is she going with this?)
My life "fat" or "skinny" or in "shape" or my "ideal weight" has nothing to do with anything other than my own thoughts. My weight also has NOTHING to do with the person I am. (zero, zip, nada)
I found Spin by accident and I found me!
I found the ability to commit. (long term as a Pure Cycle owner and short term to getting through a 20 sec Sprint! lol) I found value in my strength and endurance. I started to take these classes to lose weight but in time, realized I was applying all that I was learning physically to my life mentally. I learned that anything worth it required work and dedication.
I could think better. I could be supportive. I could be happy. I could imagine. I could strengthen my mind, body and my spirit! (Spin Mantra btw) I could try a little harder. I could reach for the next goal. I could endure. I could visualize. I learned that if I quit, then shit stopped happening. I learned a little patience (still working on this to this day)
I was nicer.
The greatest gift of all???
Learning that I kick ass regardless of what I look like.
I hope i can now Inspire people to think beyond this box most of us live inside. That box of comparing ourselves to others HAS to go. Thinking we SHOULD look a certain way if we eat this or do that. Stealing joy away from ourselves because a pair of freaking pants don't fit us right now. (who cares!) A box that limits our beliefs of what we should do or can do based on our age, our size or someone else's opinion.
Exercise. (Not a title. Just a comment)
Go find something to inspire you. (maybe it could be Spin) or maybe its something completely unrelated. Go and find something that will teach you to reach outside of that box. Something that will guide you to belive in yourself regardless of wtf you are supposed to look like. Remind yourself that any physical activity is because you want and NEED to be healthy. (muscles and calorie burn are just a bonus!) Find something that drives you. Find passion. Find clarity.
Learn to let go of how you think life is supposed to be.
Try something new. It's totally ok to be scared!
You are what your mind creates. So, why not create somthing amazing!
You are probably going to shock the shit out of yourself.. You are stronger than you think.
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